January 1, 2009 at church during the New Year service. I quietly pulled out a promise card from the bunch being passed around on trays. I flipped the card to see the verse. It read "I shall cover you with my feathers. Psalms 91: 4"
I heaved a sigh and said to myself “Does this mean that 2009 is also going to be a year of no big blessings?"
Disappointed, I put the promised card inside my Bible. I found myself asking why God never promised me blessings, prosperity, and peace. I forgot everything about the promise, and went on my routine.
Year after year, I had pulled out promise cards expecting it to be about earthly blessings. But I have never received a promise about material blessings. Year after year I had asked for my career to be blessed, my marriage to be blessed, and so on. But promises have always been about emotional parts of my life.
One evening in February, on my way back home from work, the same question entered my mind. Why does God never promise me earthly blessings or prosperity?
The realization dawned soon. God wanted to deal with the fearsome side of me.
I FEAR a lot about the future and my family. I was taught that a responsible human being "fears" about the future and prepares in advance. My father equaled being fearless to being careless. He would ask me questions like, "How can you not be worried about your career (meaning you are careless about it)." Deep down, I had learnt that living in fear was the right way to live. And soon, I had grown up living in fear - fear about everything.
Soon, fear was the weapon that satan was using against me. Sometimes, i would fear so much about something that it would almost cripple my life. Fear has often made me unable to think clearly or has often made me act in haste.
Before God could bless me, He knew He had to deal with my fear. That is why He promised to hide me in His feathers. Once inside, I won't even know what it happening outside. And all I had to do was enjoy the safety of the hideout.
God knew me so well that He decided that this year He wanted to change one of my weaknesses into strength. HE knew better than me. He knew that removing my fears would be of greater benefit to me than materialistic blessing.
This shows that my God is a personal God. He did not promise me what I wanted but what I needed the most (victory over fear). I am so blessed to worship a God who knows me so personally.
